Thursday 6 August 2020

Zakir Diary - Thadhiginathom: Part 22


Compartments in a train

Relationships - They are like compartments we attach on a train, based on feelings and needs. Depending on the length of the journey and based on the opportunities encountered, they may latch on to different engines from time to time, changing track or direction. And they will motor on. If the need to be connected ceases to exist, they may even be detached and left behind. Some relationships satisfy the need for money, some the need for praise, yet others are just mostly burdensome. Each situation brings with it a different need. The need or compulsion for a relationship depends on those who are in it. Time, sometimes, compels you to maintain some relationships that are undesirable in nature. It sometimes forcefully detaches you from others that are desirable in nature. And they will move away. Death is a way in which relationships are severed, though the feelings may still linger on in the heart. Recently, I was bitterly surprised to learn even praising someone may damage your relationship with them. I shall recover from it.

The date for my arangetram was set to be the Ninth day of June, Nineteen Ninety Three. That was the day I, who had been a student in the world of natyam, was to be acknowledged as an artiste. Though I was apprehensive with fear that this was the first time the outside world would judge and evaluate me - who had lived a sheltered and cocooned life thus far pretending that the altar was in my kitchen and the paradise was at my front step - based on my talent, I could also see my dreams starting to cast dancing shadows that were real. The light that had shone on many a dancing star would now start illuminating me as well.

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